IRON MAN 3 MOVIE (MARVEL COMICS) "REVIEW" COMING SOON!

IRON MAN 3 (MOVIE) 

REVIEW BY: (USAGENT2009)

Trying to keep a very open mind I choose to let my priorities slide for the weekend at home and away....and take time off to finally get into doing reviews (what I do best) with S.B.T. I wanted to go see "Man of Steel" but opted to pass on it for one more week and go see Iron Man 3. Look I am a journalist and an avid collector first and foremost to things in the comic book world. I’ve been trying to formulate an outline for doing reviews since my review on Avengers. I want this to be fun, less of a hassle than doing a lengthy prolonged boring read. I think it's important to point out things and keep it short.

I cant help but wonder "WTF?" When I go to see any Marvel movie lately since it seems you can always find a bunch of "Yay Sayers who probably never read a comic book in their life. I like to think of myself as having a large knowledge of comics but not so much as to make me a scholar. But in making my point can anyone please tell me or the rest of the Marvel fan universe why with each movie adaptation do writers feel the need to bend rules, combine characters and blatantly re-write or dismiss historical events, people and places in any comic book movie?

Before I totally destroy this movie I'd like to point out the somewhat refreshing hints this chapter of Iron Man gave up until the point I was sickened and disgusted. I will say the one thing this movie always has is the sexy Gwyneth Paltrow who lights up the stage each and every time she is slightly allowed to show off her smile and gorgeous legs. I think this has been undermined a great deal though cause almost every shot of her from the waist down seems to be photographed from 25 to 45 feet away with a blurry camera. Is there some kind of reason why I can't get any eye candy from Iron Man? Does no one at Marvel want Pepper Pots to be a sex symbol? I generally feel that this nor any comic book movie should be centered around sexy females alone. The comic book character or main hero of any movie is the prime concern. But with each movie it does appear that Pepper Potts makes less sexy appearances then with the last. (point made).

I also feel that what ever attempt to bring these two characters together as appearing to have a strong sexual relationship or any real loving relationship is never made. I’m sorry but seeing a brief attempt by Tony Stark to act in the moment by swooning Pepper with gifts or attention felt more like a poor example. I get totally that Stark is consumed by his desire to work his creative magic creating armor and saving the world. But during no time in this theatrical attempt do I feel there is a passionate care for either his work or his woman. I felt like he comes off like he cant focus on anything! Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) seems to have no real on screen moment that brings out his being creatively consumed by his work until something actually appears wrong and threatening in the world. As well his paying attention to His love interest seems equally secondary. His attention to anyone moving in on his relationship is not even a passing thought until "Happy Hogan" (John Favreau) makes it clear to Stark that he (Stark) needs to snap out of whatever coma induced fog he is in and pay closer attention to the moves being currently made by character (Aldrich Killian) Actor (Guy Pearce). If not for the superb acting throughout this rather embarrassing attempt this movie would have very little to add to the Iron Man Trilogy.

I almost feel that Happy Hogan also has nothing to be really happy about unless your either focusing in on the large bank roll both Happy Hogan is on with "Stark Industries" Or the equally profitable contract secured by actor (John Favreau) playing this lame duck character body guard for Stark. Who seemingly never really saves Stark from anything threatening in this movie. Instead he clumsily gets nearly blown to shit by making rather direct and brash moves retrieving components from the "Extremis" serum. Alas Hogan takes a near dirt nap and spends the entire rest of this movie practically in his own coma no thanks to Stark once again sleeping at the wheel while dealing with his own demons. That in retrospective seem to now have morphed from a drinking issue to a panic attack brought on by the Avengers (new York) threat?

The more I analyze this flop the more angry I find myself getting. The whole entire thing seemed more like a revival of 48 hrs. I had to keep myself from yelling go Nick Nolte And Eddie Murphy! Seriously has Tony Stark become 007 over night? These two did more gun play and running around then Chips! I think the entire script of Stark out of state and meeting up with a child who recanted a child terrorist plot was in poor taste. This entire sequence and hunt for Stark was not only jumble of twists and turns that would have lost anyone trying to figure out what the hell was going on. But also made the entire story drag.

Iron Patriot was nothing more than one more ploy to drag in fans and create a series of traditional Marvel broken promises. This character was poorly re-developed and thrown under the bus. His entire origin was tossed on the cutting room floor, redirected and recreated for a big spark which took in my opinion a total flop on the big screen. Anyone who knows comics and follows the story lines knows that the Iron Patriot Is armor stolen from Tony Stark by Norm Osborn. This introduction into a movie couldn't have been more misused. The very fact that Marvel allows the creative writing powers that be run rough shot and re-tell comics for a movie adaptation in whatever path they choose is a sin!

I see why they toss Characters at will into the movie using a flashy approach to gain ticket sales, while real fans are left with brief cameos and minor conflicts that never add up to anything more than a fart and fizzle rather than an all out slug fest. The same can be said for the Mandarin as well. This was again a creative attempt to rocket this movie into ticket sales while the big hush at Marvel knew full well this was not going to be anything more than an impostor to buy time for a weak main plot. If anything Extremis should have been the weapon or catalyst for a larger big bang ending. Why did this almost gearing up intro take a turn for the worse as the A-list Mandarin villain become second string and not even real as the idea was shelved for a B-list Extremis story (main plot) with c & d list threats that don’t even exist in the regular continuity of the Iron Man comic book series. If not for additional stories from alternate earth time lines and a brand new movie continuity all on its own that seems to cross between all time zones and story lines at will.

I think for anyone trying to become a new fan and understand comics at all this less than brilliant creative team pulling the strings has made layers and layers of confusion. Try making a comic book fan actually have a constructive debate between movies and comics. The two are so filled with dead end commonalities that things cant even make for good discussions. I know the mutual ideas still remain, but nothing stays true to the end. As with marvel movies there seem to be no end at all to crossing two villains to come up with an entirely new concept actually sickens me. The only real reason to get excited to go and be forced into watching an entire Marvel movie anymore is for the popcorn!

To Make things worse you throw in dumb ideas such as curing Tony Stark or his debilitating heart complications which weather its been done or not in comics has nothing relevant to "speed Tying up a total focal point to years of comic history in three movies or less. It feels like no one knows where to take this story so what the hell let's get things resolved before we cut our tongues off talking our asses out of this lie. Everything is a well designed lie, fans get empty promises of a huge budget battle that involves villains that have no place sharing the spot light and nothing really comes to boil. I can assure you no one has been sitting on the edges of their movie chairs asking when is old Tony Stark going to finally be cured from the only true reason he needs his armor and why he uses it for a good cause! Instead we are all asking is he ever going to actually fight anyone who is a frigging major villain in comic books? Or is this going to remain made up shit?

And just how many times is Stan Lee actually going to show up in EVERY comic book movie? Is anyone else getting sick of seeing this old man portraying every citizen walking the streets from Manhattan to Yancy street and everywhere in between? He (Stan Lee) has become a laughing stock! Its not funny anymore assholes! Oh sure it was funny once, not twice! Maybe even cute a third, but ENOUGH IS A GOD DAMN SON OF ODIN ENOUGH!!!

I have one question at the end of this movie: "Who is Iron Man?" Downey seems to need to tell us He is Iron Man at the end of the movie. I believe it sounds vaguely familiar to "I'm Spiderman!" Is everyone forced to say this or is there just a lack of confidence the movie or movies wont make the point clear cause the overall story just plain sucks!? Clearly I cant figure out who the hell anyone is since Stark stays in the armor less and less with each passing film. I also don’t Know who the hell Happy Hogan is because he is laid out in the first 30 mins of the film. I don't know who the hell Pepper Potts is because she is blown to hell in the opener as well. Stark worries so much about his main squeeze he doesn't panic, Noooooo, instead he leaves her voice mail. The mandarin is a figment of someone’s imagination and is replaced by a drunk actor. So ask anyone coming out of the theater just who the hell the Mandarin is if they never read a comic before and they will respond with an embarrassing "I don't know." War Machine is a blank because oh yeah he's not really in the movie. Iron Patriot is a mystery too because he is not Norman Osborn, not the mandarin in the armor and not Extremis or anyone who will give Iron Man a real battle. And if you ask anyone on Extremis they'll tell you they are the Mandarin! Seriously, my cat makes a more believable Iron Man with a tissue box emptied and put over his head. And he doesn't require the need to reinforce this by telling me he is Iron Man.

When the Mandarin is finally revealed and the reveal is found to be an elaborate plan to strike fear and nothing more than a washed up actor running distractions for the much less dastardly plot to control the world I almost fell backwards out of my seat! I had to use everything in my power to choke myself off from yelling out: "Oh Come Onnnnnnnnnnnnn!" This roller coaster of building action suddenly got pissed on cold putting a kibosh to all the fanning of heat that was actually looking like a good modernized revamp to the Mandarin using current real world problems as a serious threat. I wanted to walk the hell out. No lie!

The part of War Machine played by actor (Don Cheadle) I feel is less than impressive if your actually going for a comic book mirror image. Any image giving forth the impression that ("Jim Rhodes") is a high action military officer with a desire to always do the right thing and use the aggressive War Machine armor to destroy anything in its path in doing so... I again have to ask what is anyone thinking having any actor playing this roll spend so little time being in the suit and more time acting as he comes off more like an international spy or  F.B.I. agent catching the bad guys? I think Don Cheadle is a swell actor just not placed in the right roll. His acting is not in question, more that he is again tossed a air filled bag of corn puffs and told to work with it for the big action scenes of blowing things up. If not for nothing I’d say this was a choice selection of who would work best as a side kick actor to Downey who even though I feel he is Tony Stark without a doubt. Makes the role seem more like an episode of Two and a Half Men with all this humor and witty comments. I don’t remember Tony Stark ever being this funny in any read I did. Why is it so important to make a joke out of a film that could be so bad ass? There really is no Rodes vs Stark for major ego control on the battle field. No Rhodes delivering a tough military background attitude to make you even question who fills the armor better in a fight. Just a lot of running around and indecision on how to first act at the call for duty.

Seeing many incarnations of the Iron armor is refreshing but hard to follow when your getting night time shots of fast flying armor flying in and out of shot sequences with explosions more geared for distraction then any major damage you can cheer for. In an armor based non reality would it not make perfect since to slow shit down a bit and have some real face to face armor suit slug fests? Seeing as how these three films seem more like Iron Man battle half of Hollywood and not anyone I remember from the early comic books...I mean seriously!? We have three films...No real Whiplash, no Crimson Dynamo, not even a true Mandarin. We can't dig up Living Laser, no Melter, no A.I.M base or agents. There was not even a Titanium Man? We Have a hodge podge of mixed stories and characters and anyone can be anyone they choose at will to make Stark pay attention for a few bangs and booms.

I think the some what voice controlled armor used by stark in the movie be it by his thought patterns or any other means was more theatrical and felt like we all got cheated for having to see his many suits save him over and over. It could have been introduced and not relied on throughout this entire film. I get that his technology is being constantly upgraded and am aware of these events in the comic book adaptations. I think by seeing his suit split apart and return together only makes this Iron Man seem unbeatable and less like an "Iron Man" and more like an "Iron Machine."

Also equally lame is the fact that this movie even feels dated. Stark makes reference to the battle involving the Avengers and New York city. Ok, So while someone thought this was a great idea it left me and hopefully a true fan or two asking then where the hell are the Avengers? Does the thought of a real Terror threat not make even Captain America twitch? If were to assume Iron Man is a full time Avenger or a blip on the Shield radar, then would not one person in those factions have came to his aide at the sight of their fallen comrade as it was witness on all major news agencies that Tony Stark was nearly assassinated? Loop holes galore! But its ok everyone cause the Mandarin is not the Mandarin he turns out like the movie "The Dictator."

With the way I feel this movie had its chance to beat all other Iron Man movies previous. This one in my opinion was just more of what we got in the last two, nothing short of empty promises. While I love it for it's attempt to keep the fans having more Iron Man to collect and be excited about. This one just leaves nothing to the imagination or the pleasures of a child who once grew up watching The Invincible Iron Man cartoon of the sixties played in repeats throughout the 70's. No one can take that memory from us. the best thing to come from these movies was the armory suit itself. While many things make these movies a joy to fans everywhere, I think anything that comes to mind has been watered down by the people who choose put their own spin on things and get their own name on the credits.

In closing I'd be lieing if I told you I would not go see a fourth instalment to this trilogy. I think all we can do as fans is hope some one actually cares more about the comic books and the characters the next time around and not who is starring in the film. Comic book films have become a big deal for fans, and more of a bigger deal to the people who profit from making it an all star cast. The writers seem to think we the fans will be satisfied by the name and title. We know better as we actually made the character famous by continuing to read the books and spend our cash in doing so. If the story sucked from the get go no one would have thought a second more about each and every passing issue. instead the story kept us fans and made sense. The original ideas that made each hero and villain a lasting part of history are what was so great and are like phrases from a bible. If you try to change this just like changing of a bible or any book that held the test of time the only thing you'll be left with is a bunch of lies suited to fit anyone who comes along and wants credit or hates the original idea out of greed, jealousy or personal gain. Comic books follow a strick and narrow road that made them great. You can't deviate from this by leaps and bounds. It must be gradual. Not involving current world issues and slap happy humor unless it fits in some small way. If anything is to be learned from this someone needs to read more of the origins and watch the classics. Not be afraid to say no this is not how it should feel. Comics were made for a select audiance, not for the world to join in and find comfort.

Review by:US.AGENT2009